tigerundercover | Voicemail

"-- should really get a better secretary to record the prompts. Oh! It's recording. Hello! Darkholme residence! I'm not really answering, this is a recording, but I'm told that if you wait for it to beep you can record your own greeting and send it to me.

"Should have saved some of the money for the moon."

*beep*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

tigerundercover

mental note: sleep as a large vicious animal next week

From:

spin_kick_snap

Had she ever thought about being a wolverine?

memo to self: get a large poking stick next week. Maybe bring home a spear.

From:

tigerundercover

No one wants to be a ~~bus driver~~ wolverine when they could be a BEAR!

large armored vicious animal. thanks for the tip!

From:

spin_kick_snap

See if I ever do anything nice for you ever again. It's going to be mean lady Kathy from here on in, just you wait.

Oooh, what a terribly scary threat. Raven was quaking in her bed, most like.

From:

tigerundercover

terrifying. and definitely well deserved for me not being able to send room service to another dimension.

From:

spin_kick_snap

I'm glad you understand. Hmm. Maybe I can send Anders down for something.I dragged him out of the robo-cave, he owes me.

Right. They had a lot to catch up on, hmm.

From:

tigerundercover

that sounds like a good idea. it'll give you plenty of time to explain what a robo-cave is and why you had to drag him out of one

From:

spin_kick_snap

Kathy laughed and realized that there was just no way to explain this all over text. So rather than just try to text the whole thing, she rolled over in the bed and gave Raven a call.

Ring ring!

From:

tigerundercover

Raven checked the number and laughed as she answered. "Isn't this breaking some sort of teenager code?"

She'd found a podcast that explained modern teenagers for her.

Sort of.

From:

spin_kick_snap

Why would she need to listen to a podcast when she could just look to her classmates for understanding? Her roommate and bestie was the perfect example of a normal, modern teen!

"I'm pretty sure my thumbs even hurt right now," Kathy groaned. "I was either going to have to call you now or wait until I could explain in person. Too much typing. Rainbow Fighter needs food badly!"

...That was a weird nerd joke, Raven, don't worry about it.

"So...I'm having fun in Cyseal, trading puns with cheesemongers and killing robots. You?"

From:

tigerundercover

"I'm waiting to hear about the killer robots."

From:

spin_kick_snap

"So, okay, Cyseal is a weird place with, like, bandits, marauding orcs, wandering skeletons, and all sorts of things like that," Kathy explained, because, clearly, Raven needed the long version of the killer robot story. "Goblins, too, apparently. And yesterday, there was this guy looking for people to go into a cave and try to find some of his missing adventurer friends. So, obviously, I had to volunteer."

You saw how that followed, right Raven?

From:

tigerundercover

"Because absolutely nothing about that says 'trap', definitely."

From:

spin_kick_snap

"..."

Shut up, Raven.

"People needed rescuing! Of course I had to go!"

From:

tigerundercover

"I know," Raven said. "It's adorable and frustrating. So what happened?"

From:

spin_kick_snap

"Well, I teamed up with Anders and Dante. We fought our way through a cave of skeletons, only to run into this giant robot-thing that spat out electricity. And I still don't know how it was generating the electrical current!"

Which, let's be honest, was really what bugged Kathy the most. Sure, she could just say magic, but where was the intellectual rigor in that?

"Dante was on point, so he got the first blast. Except then he tried to charge it with a bloody sword, so I chased him and took the second charge to the gut..."

From:

tigerundercover

"It's a robot," Raven said. "It probably just used whatever was giving it energy. So you saw Dante get zapped, and ran in the same direction anyway?"

From:

spin_kick_snap

"But I'm not sure what was giving it energy!" Kathy protested. "It was a robot in a cave in a pre-Industrial society! What was it's power source?"

Yep. These were the kind of questions that kept her up at night.

"But, yeah, Dante charged it--" pun entirely intended "--ad if he stabbed it with a conductive sword, I was worried that it might overload him with more electricity than even he could bounce back from. So Anders flung a fireball at it, which at least made Dante pause, but then I looked away and then it sent out more of that electricity when I wasn't paying attention, and..."

Yeah. Ow.

From:

tigerundercover

"Okay, I know you didn't just randomly look away. What were you looking at?"

From:

spin_kick_snap

"I was making sure Dante was okay," she admitted. "He'd just sucked down a ton of electricity and the fireball just zipped right by him, hot enough to melt half the robot, so I wanted to make sure that he was cool and Anders was good."

From:

tigerundercover

"Okay, I'm going to suggest waiting until after you know the lightning shooting robot is actually done shooting lightning before you check on your fellow fighters. It's not like you could have helped him until it was done, anyway."

From:

spin_kick_snap

"I mean, that makes sense now," Kathy agreed with a sigh. "But, really, it was just, like, a second. Two, maybe. Three on the outside. And then I was down on the ground, screaming, freaking both of them the heck out."

From:

tigerundercover

"Oh god. Did it zap them while they were distracted too?"

From:

spin_kick_snap

"Not just then," Kathy said. "Anders tried to melt the robot into slag and Dante scooped me up to try to keep me safe. I downed a strength potion to get me back up on my feet and that was when Anders got hit--"

It was almost a comedy of errors, here.